Not Everyone is Going to Love You Nor Should They Have To

Over the weekend I read this article and it’s been passed around some between some of the blogs that are BWE/BWIR, the article from NPR was called The Changing Face of Seeing Race. Most of us understand that yes race and people’s feelings about race are changing, not as fast as I’m sure people would like but it is changing. This article in particular, was talking about interracial dating and how it’s on the rise, which is not really a surprise since people are working, going to school, living in communities, and in a smaller context socializing with each other more so eventually yes, someone is going to notice someone and well sparks may fly. But the article also contends that when picking partners for an interracial relationship, that whites pick blacks last.

Now I have some issues with the article in the first place, why is it written just from a white perspective. As if no one else gets to choose in the interracial arena just white people since they’ve been deemed best of the best. I would have liked to know how many black people pick white people, how many Hispanic people pick white and if we’re really talking about interracial dating/mating how many people don’t pick white people at all. But that part is sorely absent. My thoughts on the article is it’s badly written, kind of thrown together and if NPR is going to give me something I’d expect them to go deeper, come on NPR someone rushed this the internet. The article is short and has two quotes in it, that I found completely odd. One is from a person in a interracial relationship with his black wife in Atlanta and the other is from a Professor at Howard stating his reasoning why black people are picked last in the interracial dating pool. His explanation or at least the part they included is like one line long and I thought, well isn’t there another perspective but I guess not and it just sounded like his opinion, it wasn’t as if he’d done some study or something he just stated his opinion and it was treated as the gospel truth. So really the article was poorly written and even more poorly researched. Now I’m not saying I’m doubting that maybe whites pick blacks last, that may be true but it may also be true that blacks may not choose whites because of our history together. In my personal dealings I find white men more open to interracial dating than I find black women or at least black women that are willing to say it openly. Now that I’ve dissected why I think this article sucks rocks. I’ll go on to my next thoughts about black women’s response to it.

Sometimes I don’t understand people, particularly black women, particularly black women who are exercising their options with dating and mating. I hate to tell people this but everyone is not going to like/love you, everyone doesn’t have to like/love you, every man doesn’t have to think of you are desirable or dateable. I have a preference, I’ve always preferred white men but no other men should be upset because I won’t pick them, they should go where they need to go to find women that prefer them. I realize and understand that most people are still in and prefer a mono-racial relationship, that’s just how it is. Although interracial is rising, it may be years before it becomes common. I’m pretty sure it won’t be in my lifetime. But the fact that all white men weren’t jumping at me for a date didn’t change my preference. It didn’t discourage me, because there were some white men who seemed interested in me. Now overall I don’t think white men are all consumed by the interracial dating thing with black women as black women are. Many of whom have never had anyone compliment them on their looks except to degrade them and have not been appreciated. So yes some are discouraged by this news but why, all you ever need is one man to love you and I’m sure of all the people in the world you can find this man whether some statistics say you’re being picked last or not. Personally I don’t pay these kinds of articles much attention because when I look at real life, it’s always different and varied. No one can understand or study, as much as they try, why people fall in love with the people they do love and how it operates is beyond all studies, we get close but we never get it. And really maybe we aren’t supposed to get it, maybe we should just sometimes leave well enough alone. Man finds a woman, she’s beautiful, everything he ever wanted, he falls in love, they get married and move on with their lives. It’s not that complicated, let’s please stop making it so complicated.

One thought on “Not Everyone is Going to Love You Nor Should They Have To

  1. I completely agree with you. Just look at Jo Gan, she upped and moved to China as a larger sized woman and still was able to find a husband who loves and adores her. All things are possible to those who believe.

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