Marriage Changes Things

I am married (if you didn’t realize from the name of the blog) and I have been married once before, so this is my second marriage. When I thought about marrying Matt I was nervous, a second marriage is a big risk but marriage is a big risk in general. So doing it a second time had me nervous as a canary in an open cage in a room full of cats. I was a tad terrified. I know that marriage changes things between people. Even if you’ve been together for a long time, even living with one another marriage changes things.

It’s hard to say in every possible way your relationship and you’ll change but you will. Your expectations change, your needs may require adjusting. You really do have to think about another human being and deeply in all your decisions. As a single woman even while I dated Matt I always had the option to just do as pleased, come and go as I wanted. Any decision I made only affected me. Now I don’t dislike being married, in fact, I love it. Taurus are people who like security so marriage suits us perfectly. But it is different, I must always think of we and not just me. It’s an interesting feeling. Matt and I had a conversation a couple of weeks ago about spending money because I do like to shop, so we came to a mutual decision on making sure we tell each other when we spend money on extra things. It is a agreed that we don’t want to overspend but we also need to be aware of what the other is spending. It’s just on shopping items but we need to be open about these things and compromise.

Marriage and it’s expectations are not like dating or even living together. Matt and I lived together before we married and when I would tell him that when we got married things would change he didn’t believe me. But a few weeks after our wedding even he had to admit it was different. That doesn’t mean it’s different in a bad way just that it’s different. You feel different and you may appear different to others and that could be a wonderful thing.

I know everyone has been talking about the Kim K and Kris Humphries sham marriage debacle. But real, deep and committed marriage changes people for the better. I don’t take my marriage lightly. I didn’t take my first marriage lightly I worked hard on it even if I did it alone but when you’re married one of the changes that should happen is that you’ll work with your spouse to work on your marriage. It won’t always be the same but you should grow and change together. That’s the beauty and glory of a happy marriage. I’m glad that God gave me a second opportunity to find that with someone wonderful.


2 thoughts on “Marriage Changes Things

    • It is, sometimes all you get is worse that’s really bad especially if they have no plans on ever changing. But it can be a good thing when you have someone who is willing to grow with you and knows how to compromise. I like being married, I’m just sorry I didn’t find Matt first because he understands how to make a marriage work. It’s not easy, it’s actual work and sacrifice but it should be the kind you enjoy.

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