Throwback Post: You Better Be Suspicious

I am innately suspicious of everyone. I used to think that something was wrong with that but as I’ve gotten older I’ve found that being suspect of people can serve me in good ways. As I’ve said previously I’ve been a sucker before and one of the ways I avoid suckerdom nowadays is to stay suspect. You can’t really believe everything people say to you and can’t believe a lot of what they do especially when you first meet people. I don’t mind people being suspect of me when I meet them because I’m damn sure suspect of them. When I met Matt I really did like him but I’m sorry I didn’t trust him any further than I could throw him and from what you’ve probably seen of that boy in pictures, he’s a big one. I encourage people to make me prove myself to them, I’m not giving out trust like lollipops, trust is too important to be attached to every random person that comes into my realm for a moment.

I am not recommending that you go full paranoid, that’s just crazy. There are enough paranoid people in the world and on the internet to fill a wards at the asylum. But staying suspect and not giving away your trust easily can serve you in the long run and you all know I’m all about self-interest. The reason I say people have to prove themselves to me is not because I think I’m so special that I’m testing people and making them jump through hoops of fire to be my friend. Personally, as suspect as I am of people I would recommend people be that suspect of me. Unless you know me in an intimate way, you really and truly don’t know me. I love writing on my blog and I hope someone finds it useful but I’ve got to earn your trust. Which means I have to be consistent and trustworthy. You know when it comes to earning my trust and getting out of the suspect arena with me, it takes time. I’ve given my trust to people too soon and when I did I usually regretted that decision. People have to be consistent with what they do, say what you mean and mean what you say, it’s simple. I am a very loyal friend when you get me as a friend, a fierce defender and encourager comes along with that friendship. So I expect the same from people but believe me, once you screw me we’re done you’ll never get another chance to do that again.

You know I love meeting people on the internet but really at worse the people I meet on the internet are strangers, at best they are acquaintances. I don’t give my complete trust to anyone I know just from an internet acquaintance. I have no idea if that person has my best interest at heart, I’m also not so desperate for friends just anyone applying will do. Those are two things I think people do way too much, give away their trust and friendship to unworthy people who haven’t proven themselves. When I was suffering from panic and anxiety attacks, where were these folks? When I was going through my divorce, where were these folks? When I was feeling doubts about being able to finish my MBA and needed encouragement to carry on, where were these folks? Yes that’s right, no where to be found. In the real parts of my life where I need support, love, and encouragement acquaintances won’t do, I need someone who has proven to be a real friend. I would suggest the same to anyone who is chatting on blogs or boards to other folks. I can’t really know the real essence of people from a few posts. No one gets to know the real me unless you meet me and spend time with me. It’s not a bad thing, it’s just the truth. You have to protect yourself because there are people out there who use people’s desperation for friends and approval as a way to control a person or use a person. God gives us instincts for a reason. All the animals have instincts, why? Because that’s the way they know how to protect themselves, how to self-preserve. If you’re instinct is telling you something is suspect about someone don’t just brush it off, it’s trying to protect you. And every time I’ve followed my instincts I’ve been so thankful I did because no harm, hurt or danger ever came to me in those situations. So don’t discount your suspicions, they may serve your best interest.

5 thoughts on “Throwback Post: You Better Be Suspicious

  1. hahahaaaaaaaaa, reading this was like the school of thought I grew up with. My grandparents, parents never said do not speak to strangers, they taught us everyone is a stranger including family members who need to earn your trust and loyalty. I believe more often than not we confuse acquaintances with real substantial friendship and give too much of ourselves to people who aren’t even putting much effort let along equally investing in their relationship with us. Any relationship from friendship, love to even business commitment takes trust and time tested character and that only happens when you are cautious and take your sweet time getting to know people. I have 2 best friends, few good friends and many, many acquaintances, as I get older, I learn to differentiate them all and enjoy what each relationship means to me.

    In the words of Khalil Gibran: ” In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, for in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.”

    • I’m with that school of thought, I have two close friends, a few good friends myself, everyone else is an acquaintance or a outright stranger. Like you it takes me time to trust ppl, lots of time. I used to think I was wrong for being so cautious but yes as I get older I’m glad I was cautious. Saved me from getting my feelings hurt by ppl who had not proven themselves worthy of my trust. When I’ve taken my time to get to know ppl it prevents me from being shocked and surprised by stuff they do by putting too much trust into them too fast.

  2. I totally agree. People say I’m mean, but if I trust you, that means that I’ve given you something that not very many people have, and I expect you to treat it as such. I would hope that people are the same way towards me.

    • That’s not mean, don’t believe that. Ppl are giving away trust way too liberally only to have that decision come back bite them in the butt later on. You have instincts for a reason, I really wish more women would use them to their advantage. Giving out trust and love to just anyone who hasn’t proven themselves worthy is just foolish I think. My mom didn’t raise no fool.

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