Lordy Lordy Eugenia’s 40!

I am really thrilled and happy to be turning 40 years old. It is an exciting time in my life. There is something different about this age and I know we have many milestones like this in our life but 40 is extra special to me. I wasn’t dreading turning 40, I was more than ready for it to come because I have something good to show for my 40 years on this earth. Lots of lessons and good wisdom I’ve gained. I know some other women have goals of what they want they want to be on the outside when they turn 40, like they want to have grown longer hair or they want to be able to fit into a teeny bikini and I’m not hating do whatever makes you happy. But I wasn’t interested in surface stuff that could come and go at the blink of an eye I was interested in my inner self being in a state of joy, peace and grace that I’d never even thought possible for me. I wanted the inner me to stop hanging on to crap, be self-assured, serving others more, and leaving the pain of the past behind and looking forward to a brighter future.

I don’t know who I’ll be by the time I turn 50 but I know I’ll be different and better than I am now. I’m pretty damn pleased about the person I am today, I’m not perfect but I’m at peace with that too. I have come into my 40th year pretty fabulous and even with some health issues, I’m more happy than I’ve ever been. Yes, this should be different time for women we are coming into ourselves truly letting the pettiness and things that don’t matter go. We are figuring out what is really important and vital to our lives and pursuing it. It’s about taking the time for loved ones and those who love us. I’ve never felt I needed my family or the family connection as much as now. 40 may be the new 20 but I’m still moving into middle-age and I realize now more than I ever have, I don’t have time to waste on bullshit or bullshit people. If you are not adding to my life at this time, you have no place in my life, period. I won’t be arguing about what I believe and why I believe it, I feel no need to make people understand my choices and I am not competing with anyone but myself. I am standing in who I am and if God needs for me to change, I’ll do with his help and guidance. I’m living by my own rules and standards and no one has to agree, I’m okay with that. But I’ve worked hard to gain this kind of mental freedom, I’ve gone through some tough challenges that most people will never know. This life God gave to me and I’m doing my best to live it in the way He wants, most won’t get that but that’s their problem not mine. If it had not been for His grace and mercy I wouldn’t be here. I’ve made some poor choices at moments in my life but I also made some good ones. The thing I’ve learned is to ‘get the lesson’ whether it be good or bad choice don’t miss the lesson that’s the important part. So let me tell you something about my 40 year old self.

  • I have been twice married and got all the lessons from the 1st marriage and trying to do it better the 2nd one, thank God for 2nd chances.
  • I don’t own a home and don’t think I’ll ever want to own one, my definition of success is mine no one needs to understand or approve of it.
  • I’m a stay at home wife due to medical issues and I’m finding it very nice to able to depend on someone something I’d never done as an adult. It’s nice to have someone depend on me as well, the feeling of being needed and appreciated is good.
  • I am currently having some complications with my type 1 diabetes not that I don’t take care of myself but having a chronic disease takes it toll on you. But I’m not giving up and I’m no where near dead.
  • I’ve been in my 2nd marriage for a little over 6 months and I love it and him more than I could ever express.
  • I’m starting to write again and that feels good. I have a story to tell and so do all of us. I feel God wants me to share it.
  • My relationship with God is growing and changing all the time, that is a very vital part of my life.
  • I’m calmer than I’ve ever been which is different because as a Taurus I can be a bit of a hothead but all the things that don’t matter just don’t matter anymore. I go to therapy to help with the rest, to tell the truth I think a bunch of folks could use therapy.
  • I’m not at my ideal weight but it sure is nice to have a husband that thinks you’re the sexiest thing alive anyhow and will support you in whatever you do. But we do that for each other.
  • And what I’ve discovered in these 40 years is that I am smarter, stronger, more generous, funnier, more beautiful, wittier, more talented, and just plain more fantastic (and yes I love me as every woman should love herself) than I ever imagined.

At 40 I am so thankful to be here to enjoy my life each and everyday. To wake up to a home with a man that loves me enough to be proud to take care of me. I’m not always easy to live with but I try my best for him because he tries his best for me. We don’t struggle here, we work as team and I have more than I need and am at a point I have so much I can be a blessing to others, giving is the best feeling because I always receive way more than I give. I am looking forward to my upcoming years. I am looking forward to living in the moment without fear or regret. And as I spend this day relaxing away the hours with my husband here at Seabrook on the Washington coast I want to say yes lordy lordy Eugenia is 40 and absolutely fabulous. Happy Birthday to me and my Sweets he’ll be 37 tomorrow. Enjoy your time here folks, don’t waste a moment because they never return.