I Am Not Someone’s Inferiority Complex

An inferiority complex can make it difficult for some black women to date interracially, even worse someone else’s inferiority complex can make it impossible.

Toni’s awesome article from Beyond Black & White ‘A Response to ‘Do You Want to Date A White Guy…?’ Article’ check it out she’s sharing knowledge.

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9 thoughts on “I Am Not Someone’s Inferiority Complex

  1. I always love to hear you talk about this subject. I think you’ve nailed it. It’s an inferiority complex and thinking that white people are special and better. Some people think that you’ve automatically upgraded when they find out you’re in an interracial relationship without knowing anything about your partner, just based on the fact that he’s not a bm! This always shocks me and catches me off guard when people make these comments, because it shows me how little people think of bw/bm. An old friend that I haven’t talk to found out that I was dating interracially and she acts totally different with me now, she’s never met the guy, just based on his whiteness, I guess???????? smh

    • I feel you there, I’ve had that happen and yes it’s a shock. I’m thinking ‘you know maybe he upgraded.’ I mean glamdoll from what I know of you, you sound like a hell a catch any man would be lucky if you gave him the time of day. It’s sad that bw think so little of themselves & other bw that don’t even see themselves as a prize for a man. Wow!

      • LAWD, that reminds me of that black woman who showed up ranting at me about how as black women “we aren’t a prize”.

        Girl, no YOU don’t see yourself as a prize. Don’t push that ish on me. On the one hand, I feel bad for people that feel so low. On the other, don’t come pushing your low standards and self-esteem on me!

        It’s not enough to think so little of themselves, they want you to feel as small and insecure as they do. And rather than try and seek encouragement and support and build themselves up, they just want to knock you down with them.

        SMH.

        • A black woman said this about other black women?! Wow there is some serious self-hate going on there. As I’ve said before I refuse to claim other ppl’s baggage. They can have that shit.

  2. LOVE YOU BACK! o/ ❤

    I was cracking up because I am an internet nomad and have been since I was first given access. I applaud your wisdom because there are so many things I have seen that I will never be able to unsee. So yes, curiosity is not always a virtue: There are times you are better off not knowing.

    *shudder*

    But I digress.

    These persons, as I said in the article, are fixated on white racists or bigots in general. For some reason the wrong wires got crossed and rather than look at persons who are interested in you for who you are, and who appreciate and even love the fact that you are a black woman, you get people who see everyone in the IRR arena as either open racists or secret racists who will call you the n-word the first time you have an argument.

    Are there racists swimming in the interracial relationship ocean? Of course! And not all men who are interested in you are necessarily suitable. Some men are mentally unstable and dangerous. Some men are reliant on the opinions of friends and family and are incapable of having a serious relationship with you (but this doesn't stop them from wasting your time and energy). There are non-black men you wouldn't want to be with just like there are some black women who really have no business dating IRR because they are doing it for all the wrong reasons.

    BUT, it's a bit rich to pretend that these concern trolls are even thinking about it that deeply. It's all a cover for the fear they feel. They may even go so far as to project their own fear and feelings onto their friends. That's why I say it's not necessarily wise to bank on friendship as the key to interracial relationships. People have ended friendships after knowing someone for years and years because an ugliness came out in them over something that they didn't know existed, and they couldn't be friends anymore. People are human. And not every person you consider a friend will have your best interests at heart all the time. Sometimes their own feelings will take precedence.

    (I'll wrap this up because I'm getting wordy…. :B)

    These persons both fear being othered and yet they will rush to other themselves, almost because they are so used to it happening, they are afraid of the pain of having it done to them. So they don't give anyone the chance to put them in that corner – they run to the corner first. It's rather sad, and in some ways signals a level of mental and emotional defeat where you immediately expect the worst in others, and assume that they are incapable of thinking the best of you. Of loving and appreciating you. It's rather sad.

    • Thank you and no if people want to find foolishness, they’ll have to search it out for themselves LOL. no one will ever say I directed them to foolishness unh-uh!

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