Love Is Not A Feeling. It Is A Way Of Behaving. -Unknown
Published in Single Girl in A Weird World on 1/29/11
Really, to tell the truth I don’t know. I’d like to be able to say after dating interracial for 20 or so years there’s a type but there isn’t. Now, this is speaking to black women who may be thinking but just aren’t sure who the guy is or what he looks like that would date a black woman. Really he has no certain look and for all the non-bm who may be interested in dating black woman, I’m telling you the same thing. As much as people would like for women to believe that the only black women that non-bm are interested in are bohemian, all-natural girls, with short nails, natural hair, and flowing clothes or Halle Berry, it’s a crock. We look like the variety of black women out there, which means how do you tell who’s going to be interested in you. I hate to do this to people but you’re just going to have to take a chance, for men if you talk to a black woman and she’s talking back and being friendly you may have found someone who is interested in dating interracial so use all your guy skills and go for it. If you as black woman find that a nice non-bm is speaking with you, he may be interested, keep chatting him up and do a little flirting, it helps. Because there is no image I can put on here or put into your head that will help your radar go off when a person who may want to date interracial comes along.
I’ve dated a few white men in my life and I couldn’t give you list of any their similarities besides they were all white. They had different beliefs, looks, ways of dressing and style, musical tastes, heights, hair color, it was all so varied. So when I hear people say white men only go for this type of black woman or black women wouldn’t date a nerdy white guy just one that looks like Brad Pitt, of course, I got to call shenanigans on that mess. I find a variety of things attractive about men, they don’t have always have the whole long list, some are important, so important that other parts of my ‘you’re hot’ list are diminished because they possess a particularly attractive quality. I’m big on humor and intelligence, really humor and intelligence can make a guy that would be so-so in my eyes the hottest thing walking. This is how important those are, so important to me that it makes me find Seth Rogen when he was in ‘Knocked Up’ really hot. He’s just so cute and funny, I love him. But yes I really love Brad Pitt too and think he’s funny and smart, see so it’s all over the place and I know for sure that Brad Pitt has dated interracial previously with a black woman, Robin Givens specifically. All people have different tastes, things that turn their head or make them want to possibly get to know someone better, those are so subjective you could ask every person in the world and not get two list that are similar, less known two lists that are alike.
I want folks that are desiring to date interracial to remember, you don’t have to change who you are to get the person you desire. Someone wants you and thinks you are attractive just the way you are, now if you feel like you want to do something extra to put your best foot forward, do it. Because really self-confidence is key in drawing people to you, if someone feels you’re comfortable with yourself, they’ll be comfortable talking to you. I know some black women have issues with self-confidence, so work on those and then be happy when someone else notices it. Also here’s a tip, I’ll probably be sharing again especially for black women but really for any woman, when a man compliments you do not qualify his compliment. If a man says you have nice legs, do not go into how you wish you could lose some weight because you think your legs are too big. At that point, you’ve just turned the man off with your lack of self-confidence. Please learn to take compliments graciously and just say thank you. Lesson for today.
I just want to share with one photos I gathered from the internet of interracial couples with black women and white men, just to share the variety that goes into this type of couple. Also want you to know, that these sorts of couples have a specificity, no rhyme or reason, attraction is a funny wonderful thing. So go out there and know the guy or girl you want to date in the interracial love game, unfortunately doesn’t come with a secret handshake, sorry. But it’s fun, finding out who it may be.
Well it looks like a hodgepodge to me, what do you think? Just go out into the world and find the one you love.
Published in Single Girl in a Weird World on 8/8/11
When my mother named me Eugenia, she did so because that was my grandmother’s name and as a child my mother always told me repeatedly how special and perfect I was. Really, I just believed her, she was mother why would she ever lie to me. As I got older I searched for the meaning of my name as a woman who’s taken Latin and Greek etymology classes I wanted to know the meaning. I was pleasantly surprised to find that Eugenia means ‘well-born’ or ‘perfect’ so all that time my mother had been calling me perfect as a child it was befitting my name. Since I bore the name ‘perfection’ it can only mean one thing. I am unmoved, unimpressed, unconcerned and not threatened by other women. I could really care less about what other women are doing or not doing. I read a lot of blogs where women are going on and on about we’re always in a competition with other women, how as black women we’re somehow so deficient we need to be taking lessons from other sets of women, how women are so jealous of us as black women when they see us dating out, and really those last two statements can’t even be true they don’t even match. I can’t be deficient and on the losing end as a woman but at the same time threatening to other women if I date a man that isn’t black. I wrote a blog a week or so ago called ‘What You Looking At?‘ about these really weird encounters I’ve had on a few occasions where white women were crawling all over their men when they see me and Matt together and how odd I thought it was. Well, I got some of comments about how white women are really threatened by black women and such but really I was not writing to confirm that white women were threatened by me. I was writing it because I was wondering if I was just trippin’ or not. I could care less if white women or any other woman is jealous or threatened by me, I don’t think they are but if they are that’s their problem not mine. I don’t want anybody else’s man and bitch I’m not going anywhere so you can be threatened for the rest of your life but really I would consider that a waste of my precious time. You know I take people on a case by case basis, it takes time to get to know me and it takes time for me to trust you. I have all kinds of female friends in all shades, the reason I love, respect, and share with those women is because they’ve proved to be good and loyal friends. Now, if you do something that is bad and disloyal we won’t be friends anymore but until then I’m not judging you or a group of women like you on the outer shell. As a black women I hate for people to just assume they know me because of things they’ve seen on television or heard from other people. Really my name is not Black People, my name is Eugenia and if you want to get to know her you can. There are women in the world better looking than me, more accomplished and there are women worse looking than me and less accomplished. I am not in a competition with any of them, I’m in a competition with me, I’m trying to be the best me that God needs for me to be. I am unique and what I have to offer to this world only I can give it. What I have to offer to the man in my life only I can give him. Now if he’s stupid and decides he doesn’t want to appreciate it, then he can get to stepping I will not be drying up and dying. But at this point, he appreciates everything I give to him and he thinks I’m the sexiest, most dynamic and smartest woman in the world as it should be. I’m not comparing notes with other women, I don’t feel bad about myself or incomplete and all the things about me that are useless I ask God to help me rid myself of those things and people. This is my journey, other women have their own journey, their own man or woman, their own family to be concerned about. I love me enough to know, that no one can give what I give to this world. I don’t have to feel inadequate or incomplete when I look at others, they’re doing what they need to do for their lives. I’ve never been a jealous woman, it’s a waste. You see people where everything is shiny on the outside while they are falling apart on the inside, we need to watch our jealous streaks because sometimes there really is nothing to be jealous about. So I’m not deficient compared to other women, nor am I threatened by them. My confidence is sufficient enough that I can let someone shine and not feel weird or hateful about it. We all have something different to do, you do yours and I’ll do mine. And for those that feel threatened by any woman that walks in your vicinity I wish you my confidence because that’s a sad life you lead.
I’m not doing a vlog today, I tried something new with my hair and that did not work out at all. So it’s just going to be written, we’re still prepping for baby-making time this is the longest two months of my life. But I’m getting so excited, a lot of changes are happening in our life. One may be, where we live.
Matt and I went on a overnight trip to Portland, Oregon this Saturday. We were supposed to be going to the Oregon Brew Fest but we got there and it was like cats in a bag. So since we are surprisingly flexible people as Taurus we walked through downtown about 10 to 12 blocks up to one of our favorite brewery bars, Ringler’s which is owned by McMenamin’s. It was the best overnight trip ever. We booked a less expensive hotel on the far north side of town, no use in paying through the nose for a overnight trip but I’d highly recommend that Days Inn, it was nice, quiet, clean absolutely perfect. On Sunday we went to Voodoo Doughnuts and gorged ourselves on sugar donuts & Starbucks for breakfast, drove up to this incredible park called Washington Park, at the park we visited the Portland Rose Garden (Portland is known as the Rose City), and then headed over to a cool spot called Podnah’s and had a tasty BBQ lunch. We left the city and headed back to Seattle, but I didn’t want to go.
Every single time I visit Portland I want to move there. I love the city. Now I love Seattle but everything in Portland just seems a tad bit better. The weather is a little better, the neighborhoods seem cooler, the housing prices are a little lower, they got better beer, it seems friendlier and more laid back. Seattle when I first moved here 20 years ago was a lot like modern Portland but it’s grown, it’s changed, people are less friendly, it’s more hustle and bustle. Now Seattle certainly isn’t a L.A., Chicago or Houston but its getting there. I long for the days when it was just less drama. But when I visit Portland I feel that way. I’m not going to lie the Oregon coast leaves the Washington coast in the dust. Oregon is beautiful country. I still love Seattle and Washington but I find as I visit Portland and Oregon I’m just loving it even more. I really think it would be a good place to raise a child. While visiting the park and Rose Garden this weekend it’s just becoming more apparent. My husband has the ability to move just about anywhere, he’s an engineer and while I’m a SAHM it will be easy for me and even if I go back to work at some point, I’ll be working from home and what I do can be done anywhere in the world. So we’re cool about careers when it comes to moving but I still have some investigating, if I’m going to have my family in a place it has to be the best place for us. That requires more research than a day at the park.
There are a lot of things that I must be aware of about Oregon and Portland because it’s not a utopia. Oregon has a state income tax but no sales tax, it is also one of the poorest states in the United States but I think some of that is because it is a progressive state which in fact, I rather like about Oregon. They’re progressive but you wouldn’t know it because unlike its West coast sisters, California that’s just does stuff to piss people off and Washington which wants to be as cool as California and can’t shut up talking about it. Oregon just is cool and no one need know, they do everything on the DL. Portland is a beautiful but less developed city than Seattle and it has a huge issue of homelessness particularly homeless teenagers many who are ex drug addicts. So as with anything there is the good and bad that go with this move. My personal thought is that the good will outweigh the bad but I still have to do my due diligence.
Now we aren’t moving anytime soon which will probably come as a relief to our parents. We might not move at all but as usual every time I visit that city whether it be Summer, Winter, Spring or Fall I just feel this overwhelming need to move there. Who knows I might be blogging from Portlandia soon and we’ll be Portlanders. Here are some awesome photos from our trip.
I don’tpost on this blog consistently. As you know a few months back, I took a break for health reasons and that turned out well. I’m feeling that I need to take another break for health reasons, specifically our trying to conceive a baby. Now it’s not that I won’t check in so please heed my warning trolls that is posted on my About page. I will come back and do a special post just to out your information. To the regular readers & guests please understand as much as I love writing post and sharing information, knowledge, and laughs my family comes first. This is an important time in our lives, we need to stay focused and drama-free. As you know sometimes blogs and blogging can be stressful. I nor my doctor need me stressed right now.
So I’m going to say Adieu for the moment. I will be back to announce about the pregnancy as soon as it happens. I want to share that good news with all of you. Till we meet again, bye for now guys!