Published in Single Girl in A Weird World on 1/29/11
Really, to tell the truth I don’t know. I’d like to be able to say after dating interracial for 20 or so years there’s a type but there isn’t. Now, this is speaking to black women who may be thinking but just aren’t sure who the guy is or what he looks like that would date a black woman. Really he has no certain look and for all the non-bm who may be interested in dating black woman, I’m telling you the same thing. As much as people would like for women to believe that the only black women that non-bm are interested in are bohemian, all-natural girls, with short nails, natural hair, and flowing clothes or Halle Berry, it’s a crock. We look like the variety of black women out there, which means how do you tell who’s going to be interested in you. I hate to do this to people but you’re just going to have to take a chance, for men if you talk to a black woman and she’s talking back and being friendly you may have found someone who is interested in dating interracial so use all your guy skills and go for it. If you as black woman find that a nice non-bm is speaking with you, he may be interested, keep chatting him up and do a little flirting, it helps. Because there is no image I can put on here or put into your head that will help your radar go off when a person who may want to date interracial comes along.
I’ve dated a few white men in my life and I couldn’t give you list of any their similarities besides they were all white. They had different beliefs, looks, ways of dressing and style, musical tastes, heights, hair color, it was all so varied. So when I hear people say white men only go for this type of black woman or black women wouldn’t date a nerdy white guy just one that looks like Brad Pitt, of course, I got to call shenanigans on that mess. I find a variety of things attractive about men, they don’t have always have the whole long list, some are important, so important that other parts of my ‘you’re hot’ list are diminished because they possess a particularly attractive quality. I’m big on humor and intelligence, really humor and intelligence can make a guy that would be so-so in my eyes the hottest thing walking. This is how important those are, so important to me that it makes me find Seth Rogen when he was in ‘Knocked Up’ really hot. He’s just so cute and funny, I love him. But yes I really love Brad Pitt too and think he’s funny and smart, see so it’s all over the place and I know for sure that Brad Pitt has dated interracial previously with a black woman, Robin Givens specifically. All people have different tastes, things that turn their head or make them want to possibly get to know someone better, those are so subjective you could ask every person in the world and not get two list that are similar, less known two lists that are alike.
I want folks that are desiring to date interracial to remember, you don’t have to change who you are to get the person you desire. Someone wants you and thinks you are attractive just the way you are, now if you feel like you want to do something extra to put your best foot forward, do it. Because really self-confidence is key in drawing people to you, if someone feels you’re comfortable with yourself, they’ll be comfortable talking to you. I know some black women have issues with self-confidence, so work on those and then be happy when someone else notices it. Also here’s a tip, I’ll probably be sharing again especially for black women but really for any woman, when a man compliments you do not qualify his compliment. If a man says you have nice legs, do not go into how you wish you could lose some weight because you think your legs are too big. At that point, you’ve just turned the man off with your lack of self-confidence. Please learn to take compliments graciously and just say thank you. Lesson for today.
I just want to share with one photos I gathered from the internet of interracial couples with black women and white men, just to share the variety that goes into this type of couple. Also want you to know, that these sorts of couples have a specificity, no rhyme or reason, attraction is a funny wonderful thing. So go out there and know the guy or girl you want to date in the interracial love game, unfortunately doesn’t come with a secret handshake, sorry. But it’s fun, finding out who it may be.
Well it looks like a hodgepodge to me, what do you think? Just go out into the world and find the one you love.