Know Your Emotional Abuser: The Gaslighter

Gaslighting is one of the most insidious and evil forms of emotional abuse. Here’s how to know if you are being gaslighted.

12 thoughts on “Know Your Emotional Abuser: The Gaslighter

  1. Thank you so, so very much for this information. What is scarey to me is that I was raised by a mother that is an excellent gas lighter. I moved out when I was 16. I was abused. She would admit to nothing. But was excellent at making me out like I was crazy (Said I was just so warped in the mind.), and that I was even evil deep down, and I was born without certain caring emotions. As a young child, my dad I was told by her was the evil one, then as I got older and longed for my own mind, I was the evil one also. My sister believes and stands by mother all the way, and thinks I am just drama. I moved states away. Had to, for my sanity and soul back. Alot of people if any, I feel do not understand that move. I had to save my life, and have some kind of life, of my own. My mother, amazing at messing with the mind, for own her comforts.

    • Don’t believe it, what was happening was actually happening. Gas lighters do this so they don’t have to take responsibility. It sounds like you were raised by a mother w/ narcissistic personality disorder. There are books on being raised by these sorts of ppl & tools to help you overcome. But you did the best thing get away from NPD & emotional abusers, far away, try not to engage them b/c they’ll have you caught up again feeding their narcissism and your poor sister sounds like she’s co-dependent. NPDs love co-dependents. I’ve got articles on here about both, check them out.

      • Thank you so much for the reply. Yes my sister told me in a email once she shall be “indebted to mother forever”. I want freedom. Felt like in my life with my mother, had to carry her on my back. I shall just keep reading, learning, and praying for a fruitful future!!

        • That indebted remark from your sister is a sure sign something was wrong. No one that gives freely & unconditionally wants you beholden to them. That’s not love that’s control, I’ll be talking about that too. Pray for your sister and get on with your building a fruitful, wonderful life. I’ll pray for you.

          • Thank you. When I read the ‘indebted to mother forever’ in a email, I thought that was really shocking. Spoke with a counselor today and he was like so you felt your parents were wrong and you were right. I was a bit angry by that comment from him. I just did not feel “free to be” as child, and young woman growing up. I shall try for building a fruitful, wonderful life. It is soooooooo hard.

          • Well if you don’t feel like you’re getting what you need from your counselor, you may need to find another one. But sometimes they do make you upset, mine makes me upset sometimes too but he also makes me see things in a different way and that’s nice. He also gives me tools to handle some of my own issues, b/c we all have some. We just can’t put it on everyone else. Growing up in a family like that has given you mechanism to cope, many may not be healthy. You can’t really worry about whether your mama or your sister get it together they are not your problem. You have to get you together, it doesn’t matter if no one changes, what matters is that you change so you can make a better life for yourself and drop the baggage and suffering of your past.

          • It is interesting. My mother sister can not see how my mother does the non healthy control? I could somehow? Interesting.

          • People are different, we see things from different perspectives. It’s too bad your sister doesn’t see it but you did, so that means you can change things. You can change your life. YOU CAN BE DIFFERENT! When I finally figured that out, what a freeing revelation for me.

  2. I luv your posts/vlogs. You’ll never know how much you have helped me and many others I’m sure. The first guy that I interacted with when I decided to date interracially was an expert at gaslighting. He knew EVERYTHING on every subject. When I would repeat stuff that he’d said, he’d deny it or change it??? what the cuss??? He would cut me off when I was talking and anytime I cut him off he would always point it out. The final straw was when he tried to correct me and argue with me about my daughter’s age!!!! That’s when I knew his a$$ was crazy. I’m glad we never met in person.
    And I could write a book on my ex husband and gaslighting but I’m so happy to be free from that madness, I’ll just continue to be thankful instead;-)……can’t wait for the next vlogs!

    • Yea when he started to argue with you about something you know for certain, your Daughter’s age, is a sure sign he’s crazy as shit. But that’s the crazy part for some reason they think they can convince you of anything even of things you have certainty on they try to gaslight you.

      I’m glad I got something out of this, I want women to know what emotional abuse looks like, it’s too easy to become a victim and not know it.

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