Hold On, Before You Start to Date IR…


Many black women need to conquer the enemy within before they start dating anyone interracially. There are issues of codependency and other issues I see with many black women moving into the interracial dating arena and if those are not resolved they are only going to cause heartache. The article mentioned on vlog is Question of the Week: ‘Two Weeks of Bliss Then Poof! What Went Wrong?’ from Beyond Black & White.

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8 thoughts on “Hold On, Before You Start to Date IR…

  1. I think women and men need to advance within themselves before they try to date anyone of any ethnicity. I also think people, especially women, need to learn the difference between being on an emotional “dopamine high” vs. really enjoying and liking someone. Being on a dopamine high can be very dangerous, and it can lead to increased levels in negative, psychological effects.

  2. I agree with this 100%!!!!! Interracial dating is not a cure if you feel inferior or if you’ve been abused in any type of way. Loving yourself from the inside out instead of expecting someone to come along and make you happy is the key.

    • No one can make you happy but you. Someone could certainly enhance that happiness but they can’t make you happy. You have to fulfilled b/c you know you actually want to enhance their happiness too.

  3. LOL – I love this video. And, I agree… sort of.
    I always encourage women to date no matter what level of maturity they’re at. To me, a date is just a date and staying out of the game for too long will make a girl rusty.

    I do agree, however, that the woman on the blog post was not in ANY way ready for a committed relationship. That’s a whole different level that should only be pursued once all the kinks in one’s personality (inferiority complexes, neediness, etc.) is worked out.

    We can’t truly love another person until we learn to love ourselves. But, in the meantime, we’re still allowed to socialize 🙂

    • I’m not encouraging women not to date, if you’ve got slight issues you may be able work on those and date. I did especially after a divorce, but women w/ deep issues of inferiority and emotional and other types of abuse from family and the BC I would suggest they take some time. Please understand therapy doesn’t take forever if you’re committed to change you can receive the great benefits of it within a short amount of time like 6 months to a year. That’s not a lot of time to be out of the dating game especially when you come back better and the ability to make better choices in mates. The woman in that blog post struck me as codependent and that kind of pathology needs some deep therapy. It’s great to want to date and socialize but I’ve seen many bw like the one in that blog dating interracial thinking that was going to solve their issues. It’s not going to happen. I have seen it time and time again we don’t attract what we want, we attract who we are. Since that’s how it works I would suggest bw be their very best to attract the very best to themselves. No one can be empowered if they’re insecure, needy and co-dependent.

      Thanks for coming on and commenting.

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