Easy Breezy Lemon Peasy

Easy breezy lemon peasy is what I say when things are easy for me to do, interracial dating has always been one of those things. As I’ve said time and time again to attract love, you have to be love. To attract someone you must appear open to the notion of love and being loved. I have been dating interracial for years since the early nineties before any blog or book told me it was okay. I moved to Seattle in 1992 and never looked back, I never had any issue finding a date because I was open to dating and finding love with a non-black man. I had a preference and I wasn’t ashamed or afraid to make it known. When I talk about Seattle being a boon for interracial dating, I think some black women think I’m playing or exaggerating…ummm no! Now I would never recommend you move to a city because you’re looking for a date, if you live in a great city like Seattle and there are plenty of them across the U.S. stay there and work your magic. But you must first know you have magic.

I have a story to tell about my Friday out with Glamdoll, now I must say we have been having a good time and she’s only been here a couple of weeks. Most of our days out and about are laugh out loud fun. Friday I took Glamdoll on the ferry to the Olympic Peninsula, now really on most days it’s never uncommon to see an interracial relationship with black women and non-black men. It’s just never uncommon to see interracial couples of all kind around here. So on the ferry we saw a black mom and her two biracial kids, they were adorably cute and excited about being on the ferry to Bainbridge Island. We had lunch and set out on the road for a tour of the Olympic Peninsula. Glamdoll is funny and a smart, good looking woman so I’m sure she’s beating them off with a stick. Our last stop of the day was Port Townsend, it’s a fabulous town with lots of little shops and restaurants set right on the water. We were having a drink and a little appetizer at one of my favorite restaurants in town a place called Sirens, I’m quite sure most black women wouldn’t set foot in a place like it but I find it cool and quaint with great atmosphere. Now I’m not saying that to insult black women but many of us have such low self esteem and inferiority issues that a place as welcoming and friendly as I find Sirens would be overlooked because well ‘oh naw girl there’s nothing but white people in there’. Yes I know for black women who are open, friendly and minus inferiority issues you don’t get this but I’m sure you know or know of the black woman I just described. I’m sure you may know a black woman who is supposedly into swirling that would have an issue going and enjoying a town like Port Townsend or the restaurant/bar Glamdoll and I were enjoying because of their inferiority issues. I’m always sad when I think about black women with inferiority issues trying to swirl, it hurts my heart but on to folks who are confident in themselves. Glamdoll is open to dating interracial and she has no inferiority issues as a black woman because she knows she’s not inferior, that’s one of the things I like about her. She also understands that if you’re open and friendly men will come a calling no matter what color. As we sit in Sirens the waitress comes and sets down menus and ask us for our drink order, we both order Manny’s Pale Ale, we do enjoy those. We’re talking and laughing and over pops a white gentlemen mingly gray, not bad looking, he’s one of the bartenders, hey maybe he owns the bar, you never can tell around here this is a place you definitely don’t judge books by their cover. He sidles up to Glamdoll’s chair, ask if our drink order has been taken, mmm hmm, we’re holding the menu perusing it, of course our drink order has been taken. He’s eyeing Glamdoll but not crassly but yes he’s interested in her and wants her to know. He’s speaking directly to her and looking in her eyes when he says this, I must say my feeling were a little hurt, he wasn’t paying no attention to me but of course, my diamond wedding ring is obvious and hey I’m not everyone’s type LOL. It was funny and cute, he was flirting with Glamdoll and he was flirting hard. I’d like to take this moment to remind black women interested in swirling that there is no such thing as a shy white guy, if a white man or any other non-black man is interested in a black woman he’ll make those feelings known to her in some way. She told him our drink order had been taken and he smiled big and walked back around the bar. Then surprise, surprise a few moments later the very interested white man comes back to flirt with Glamdoll again, this time with a compliment that went a little something like this. ‘You know one of the waitress asked how old you’ve have to be to born in (sorry not giving the year) and I told her (sorry not giving the age). I told her that couldn’t be true because you (sexy Glamdoll) look 30.’ Hubba Hubba, the honey brings them in doesn’t it. Glamdoll of course in lady like fashion, thanked the kind gentlemen and smiled he then replied ‘you are so lucky’ eyeing her longingly and giving her the ‘and if I had you baby, I’d be lucky too’ grin. We all laughed then I think he noticed I was there and said ‘oh you’re lucky too’ as an afterthought. Bastard, I was amused he noticed me at all. Because he was wholly into Glamdoll. I’m sure it’s been like that here for her at a bunch of places, it’s not hard to attract men of different races if you make yourself open to the prospect of swirling and available to love. Even better and something that shows how classy Glamdoll is, although he flirted she wasn’t interested but she didn’t shoot the guy down harshly, she accepted his compliment, thanked him and we went on with with our afternoon out. Also while at Sirens the cutest little bw/wm older couple, they looked in their 70s, came in they were adorable. Yes, we are everywhere in this in this area.

Dating interracial really is easy, breezy, lemon, peasy and if it’s hard it’s because you’ve made it difficult. If you live in a city that you don’t like the vibe when it comes to interracial dating for black women and you just in general don’t like the city, you need to figure out how to move. There are tons of cities in the U.S. where interracial dating for black woman is common and accessible. This is your life, you need to live it. I’ve asked Glamdoll to do a guest post and to discuss her move from the Midwest to Seattle. I know a lot of BWIR blogs say move overseas and if you can do it go right ahead. But I also understand not every black woman who has an interest in non-black men can or even wants to move overseas. And ladies don’t be fooled the pickings here in the U.S. are not as slim as some would have you believe. You just got to step up your game ladies, take it from one who knows, there is an abundance of non-black men who love black women right here in your own backyard. Get out there and draw them in with your special brand of female magic. Here’s a picture of our fun day on the Olympic Peninsula.





7 thoughts on “Easy Breezy Lemon Peasy

  1. I’d like to take this moment to remind black women interested in swirling that there is no such thing as a shy white guy, if a white man or any other non-black man is interested in a black woman he’ll make those feelings known to her in some way.

    This cant be said enough. In general white men may not be as aggressive as black men but they will still flirt whether indirectly or directly and sometimes shamelessly. They will find a way to get your attention if they find you really attractive. It doesnt even have to be white men that “like black women” in general but ones that see you and find you as an individual attractive. I cant really speak about asian men. Some say they are the shyest and that may or may not be true but white men? thats laughable really.

    Women do not have to approach men. If she chooses to thats her choice and the guy may be flattered and go along wtih it but in most cases that ive heard about it still ends up falling apart because he probably wasnt that interested to begin with, just flattered for the attention. You dont know if a man really wants you unless you let him come to you. Black women should not have to sacrifice being feminine and pursued and approach the man because of some white men are shy lie.

    Smile at the guy, be polite and he’ll do the rest (if he’s interested). The only exceptions that ive seen are white guys that are so shy to where they could probably be diagnosed with some kind of social anxiety and if thats the case, those guys need to deal with that and possibly get some therapy before getting into a relationship anyway but they are the exception even among shy guys.

    • Yes, yes, yes and yes. Men respond to women they find attractive that respond to them. It’s all about the vibe you’re putting out ladies nothing more, nothing less. You don’t have to wrangle a man, your vibe will draw them in, it’s then just up to you to figure out whether you want him or not. Women are too thirsty in this day and age and their is no need for that thirst. Men need to compete, women need to stop handing themselves over like lambs to the slaughter. SMH. Of course a man will take an easy meal, who wouldn’t but that don’t mean he’s going to appreciate the meal or come back for seconds. Yes, men with social anxiety issues that need therapy are not women’s problems, women need to think about what they need in a partner and stop feeling sorry for people who aren’t suitable to mate with, not your issue ladies.

  2. Great story. But I’m not surprised… in my old job, I had to go out solo frequently for dinner in places that were quite white… I had to beat off dudes with a stick, okay? My mom and I went to a NASCAR race, and if she hadn’t been married, she could have found a new husband there that day. She didn’t have to buy a drink once and the men around her seat took care of her the whole race.

    I understand it can be hard to venture to new places, especially by oneself, but so many BW who say they want to date IR will never actually go to where the non-BM are… but then they’ll complain that they’re never approached or that non-BM never go to places where black people congregate. Geez, why do some folks WANT to make it difficult? There is a whole smorgasbord of men out there who would be thrilled to meet you… go get ’em!

    • I saw a pic of your mom from your wedding, yea I could understand her beating them off 🙂
      Yes I notice the same thing, that so many bw want to Swirl but wouldn’t dare go anywhere where non-bm congregate. If you don’t you won’t get access to any non-bm be he white, Asian, Latino, Middle Eastern or anything else you could think of. Here’s lesson for today heterosexual men like heterosexual women they find attractive and non black men are way more open to black women than most want to believe.

  3. Now that I think about it, there probably have been quite a few situations where I’ve gone places and was the only black girl there. I know about a year or so ago my my mom and I went to see my brother’s band play at what can ONLY be described as a “redneck hoe-down”. We were the only two black women there and the only three black people total (my brother was the drummer).

    And it remains one of the most pleasant experiences of my life. There was this one guy who was drunk but harmless, and kept asking my mom to dance. It was hilarious. But she’s always been the outgoing adventurous type anyway and she’s never been the sort of black person to runaway from a place because she would be the only black person there.

    “I’m as good as anyone else and the hell with anyone who doesn’t think I am!” has pretty much been her creed, and she’s passed that down to me.

    I admit being wary of new places and situations, but that’s just in general; race has never figured into it, and it shouldn’t.

    If you always put your best foot forward and get out there, something wonderful is bound to happen. 🙂

    • Most of the time in this town, I’m either only or one of the few black women there. It’s the nature of living in Seattle, if I only went to places that blk ppl were that, I wouldn’t go nowhere. But as a kid it was like that too b/c my parents wanted us to experience a little bit of everything. Your mom is absolutely correct. No one can make me feel uncomfortable but me and I’m never uncomfortable b/c I’m usually enjoying myself and not worrying about what other ppl are doing. We had a good time out and about on Friday. Lessons abound in this city about dating/mating IR and their all good.

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