It’s Not YOUR Issue

Issues that some men have are not your issues ladies, think about your future life and progeny. Stop crying and wasting sympathy on unworthy men. I want to give a link to a free, wonderful and timely e-book by Roslyn Hardy Holcomb that partially inspired this post it’s called Men Aren’t Stupid. And Nine Other Free Lessons That Will Change Your Life it is a free e-book, once again I said FREE! This woman is a wise sage and fantastic writer in general but I have always liked her ‘free lessons’ please download this and read it, you will not be sorry.

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9 thoughts on “It’s Not YOUR Issue

  1. My parents were divorced and I didnt have a good relationship with my dad at all and it led to all sorts of problems until I got real with myself and refused to live the same negative patterns. So I understand and sympathize with people that dont have fathers. However, I also made a rule a long time ago (with the rare exceptions, if I get to know them and they are different) that I want my husband to have come from a healthy two parent household or at least, had a great relationship with both parents if they didnt stay together.

    Some may say thats hypocritical but I knew I deserved the best possible partner for myself regardless of what I have been through and more often than not, it would be someone who grew up in a stable two parent home or had a healthy loving relationship with both parents if they were divorced. I did the work on myself to become an emotionally stable adult despite the short comings from my childhood so I still felt I deserved the best chance at a healthy relationship.

    If I compare the men that I have dated who had healthy realtionships with their dads (and moms) vs the men who didnt, well there’s no comparison. It was like night and day. Sure a man can still be unstable with two good parents but more often than not, the one without the dad has way more problems. They never had anyone to teach them how to be men. No its not their fault just like it wasnt my fault that I didnt have the love of my dad and wasnt afforded the self esteem that every young girl gets through that which is why I want to make sure I give myself the best possible chance at happiness now and my future children to have the best possible chance and that is with a man that came from a stable home.

    • I was raised by my mom and stepfather so when I speak of my dad, I mean my stepdad. My real dad and I never had a relationship, although I knew him and where he lived. I was glad I had my dad (stepdad) b/c he did show me what a real man was, me and my two older brothers. We were blessed to have him but Jessica although you didn’t have a good relationship with your dad, you had your mom to show you of womanhood. A man needs to a dad to show him manhood. It’s important, yes like you I wanted a man that came from two good stable parents. I deserved that, so do you and all other women. You did what you needed to overcome the issues you had b/c you and your dad didn’t have a good relationship. If a guy does what he needs to over the issues of abandonment by his dad, great, give a chance. But the unfortunate part is most men don’t do that they try to take out those issue on the women in their lives and that’s not your issue. If he has issues, he needs to resolve them before he dares to come to a woman who has resolved hers and is trying to lead her best life.

    • Or they did learn whatever it is that a father would teach, but usually on their own, from their moms and other family or friends. So, they end up thinking they didn’t really need their father and I think they think their sons and daughters don’t need them, because really mom just held it on her own. Same with if the dad is in the home, but a bump on the log. But seeing other married couples can give comparisons.

  2. Your videos are the truth, Eugenia. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences. Please keep the videos coming. The rings on your finger are visual proof of your success and knowing that I can have the same success if I take heed.

    Could you do a video on patience and how you found that? I tend to be on the impatient side myself……..

    • You’re very welcome, I’m happy to share. I got some hard fought wisdom but it would be useless if I didn’t share the lessons I’d learned from it. My hope is some women can avoid some of the pitfalls I made but if you fall in, I at least want you to know you can get out and get better.

  3. First off, I love the new ‘do! It’s very flattering 🙂 Secondly, I wholeheartedly agree with this vlog. I used to want “closure” too. I thought that came from the guy, but eventually, I learned that *my* closure comes from me: he can’t give me “closure.” I also learned that being irresistible to everyone isn’t a compliment-it means that I’m generic. Thank goodness I am married to a traditional man and I no longer look for “potential”!

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