Delusions

I don’t mean to be mean but girl, you really are just average. If you are in your 30s and been steadily dating for 3 years or more and have yet to find anyone compatible. I want you to take a step back and do some introspection because you just may be a little delusional.

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8 thoughts on “Delusions

  1. This was a good video and it definitely touched on some issues I have in my own life. It’s complicated though and I find myself thinking we as a culture may need to come to a new understanding of relationships to move forward.

    One thing is that, even within average, people have preferences. I get that some people just have very high standards–usually these aren’t really based on their attraction but on what they think most people will find attractive. The truth is I see a lot of people every day that I’m basically just as attracted to as a movie star. People are designed to be attracted to other people.

    The thing is, I struggle cos even tho I’m average, I often don’t interest other people that most would regard as average that suit my preferences. Maybe that’s cos people are just being nice and calling me average.

    But anyway it’s weird cos people say you’re supposed to be attracted to someone in a relationship and they take very dimly to people who aren’t attracted to their partner. And yet the truth is a lot of the time average people can’t navigate the wide pool of other average people to their liking to find a partner they’re attracted to.

    I think your post makes a great point. One thing for sure is I’m not going to date someone who I’m not attracted to because they deserve better than that. I also think it’s pointless to try to change or complain about how people look. Aside from basic hygiene and being healthy most people are gonna look how they look and that’s a good thing and they can find someone who loves them as is. Maybe in time society will ease up on the need for strong attraction in a relationship or maybe in time we’ll find ways to expand our attraction to more people than we were originally. Anyway, good post.

    • Attraction is so subjective just like I said I’ve gone out with guys that I thought were average as all get out but once I got to know them, they became much better looking b/c they had other attributes. Sometimes you can’t overlook the average guy pursuing you, you have to give him a chance you may be surprised at what you find. You know we all have days we don’t feel our best but someone sees you, you have to see beyond the outer b/c yes men have been attracted to my curves but my curves are not enough to keep anybody and I got sense enough to know this. The best looking woman can’t have a man love her the way she wants if all she is offering is her looks. To tell you the truth some good looking women have such low self confidence b/c all they offer is looks and even they know that only goes so far, so they need constant boosting. Nothing worse than a person with low self-esteem, dating co-dependents is tiring.

  2. You are absolutely right. There are a lot of people (both men and women) who are lonely because they have unrealistic expectations. I would never promote settling but some people want a perfect partner when they are far from perfect. That or they are preoccupied with someone’s looks so that they can show off to others or feel validated that they have an attractive partner. Most would be happier if they were realistic and not shallow when it comes to dating.

    • I would too. It wasn’t beautiful when my mom told me ‘ know what you can pull.’ She wasn’t calling me ugly, she was telling me to be reasonable. There are plenty of unreasonable folks in the world and that unreasonable cost, it cost time, mental health, money, it cost. When I was in my 20s I was totally unreasonable that’s why I ended up dating a bunch of jerks and marrying one. This is the real world not Hollywood and most of us are beautiful ppl but we’re not always beautiful. Whether inside or out, everybody got something they want but what are you giving. I like to ask the tough questions, those are the ones that change our lives for the better.

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