Lesson For Today: You Mate with Your Equal

When black women mate, we usually use really low criteria. But smart black women know you must mate with your equal.

george lucas and mellody hobson (2)

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12 thoughts on “Lesson For Today: You Mate with Your Equal

  1. Great message. In conversations with my friends and peers I always emphasize that a partner should either be my equal or bring more to the table than I do. I’ve seen some of my peers apply this logic successfully and others not at all – theirs are woeful tales.
    As for the Hobson haters – I don’t even want to comprehend the premise of their arguments. If a black woman makes great decisions that bring success to her life, I want to know her formula so that I can learn it and adapt it to suit me and my life plans.
    Some black women can be so petty and self destructive which I find tragic – for them. When I heard the Hobson-Lucas news coming off the back of Janet & her billionaire beau and Naomi and her billionaire hunk, I thought “well wonderful, someone who is representative of me and many women like me (not necessarily financially but in light of the drama that is race and skin tone), (she) is showing the world that black women are elegant, classy, smart, hard working and lovable and that smart, hard working (white) men love black women (disproving those loathsome myths).”
    Honestly, how many surveys have we read that show dismal dating and marriage stats for black women? How many articles have we read telling us men of other races are not attracted to us? Do not forget that ridiculously racist perspective some Japanese man tried to pass off as science/survey in 2011. So when women like Hobson are shown in the media blazing a trail that flies in the face of all the bad stats and hateful surveys and some black women respond with “he’s too old” it’s tempting to be slack jawed and baffled but I’m not, instead I’m angry that some black women are trapped in the wrong mindset and determined to stay there.

    • That’s the part that makes me upset, bw in the wrong mindset. That part is the most frustrating. I’m going to do a vlog on some bw who swirl and our own negative attitudes that are being passed on. We’ve got to be careful, some bw are bringing our bitterness and negative attitudes into swirling.

      • It is frustrating to see women adhere to a mindset that does nothing to improve their welfare or well being. Bitterness & negativity are insidious and corrosive. I am happy they are black women such as yourself bold and honest about identifying dysfunctional behaviours amongst black women, dysfunctional behaviours that undermine the welfare and well being of black women and hinder their relationships or relationship prospects. I think one aspect of it is, some of us black women are socially conditioned or have accepted the false notion that we are not worthy of love, happiness, good health and all things good, in all avenues of our lives and that in order to have it that good one has to be extraordinarily exceptional. I think it can change (for the willing & determined) with a mindset and attitude adjustment although that’s stating it (too) simply.
        I look forward to your vlog.

  2. Hey Eugenia..I have been reading your blog since I came across it last year. Asolutately love it! Congratulations to you and your hubby on the baby news!! I am super super excited for you..Hope 2013 is a year of blessings

  3. Exactly!! I couldn’t imagine marrying someone who wasn’t equal or bringing more than I was to the table. I ended up marrying the latter.

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