I Just Thought It Was A Bad Idea

There are places where you can’t have a different opinion lest you be accused of heresy. And yea I’m a tad pissed because the whole scenario was just sort of unnecessary.

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15 thoughts on “I Just Thought It Was A Bad Idea

  1. Off topic – you’re looking great! I love how your afro is growing. I haven’t been as regular as I would like over the last two months but hopefully I am back on my MGWW schedule.

    Back on topic – I believe people are different, have different experiences and different forms and levels of knowledge and expertise, as long as disagreement is done with decorum (or politely) and people adhere to the issues (as opposed to personal attacks) different opinions make for interesting discussions or conversations and if you cannot win someone over after a constructive debate – agree to disagree.
    It sounds like you had a bad experience – sometimes I refrain from commenting on certain blogs (even if the topics are interesting) because I am not interested in the futile back and forth I anticipate because I hold a different point of view.

    • Thank you, I’m loving my fro.

      Yes, what you said is what I thought. I wasn’t actually addressing the author, I was addressing another poster who’d asked a question. I just happened to mention in one line of my response to that person that suggestion they’d made I felt was a bad idea. All of a sudden her cackles are all up. Yes, like you more and more I stay away from many blogs, I don’t comment, I don’t read. It’s like ppl are waiting to pounce. I’m not talking aboit on me in particular on anybody, you cant write for a blog that big and be that sensitive. I have had enough it’s not like I’m missing much if I don’t go there.

  2. Heh heh heh … I saw that post. Foolishness. That’s why I stay away and I’ve found very little useful information on that blog, so I’m good. I’ll continue to be a very sporadic reader on that forum.

  3. I am not a shy introvert but loud, attention grabbing people make me want to hide. They give me “verguenza ajena,” or secondhand embarrassment.

    As for commenting, many times I say silent for that reason because people will attack and call you wrong with you speak from your experience. I am an educated and well traveled woman who you don’t know but because you disagree with me I am stupid? Like Sweet Brown says “ain’t nobody got time for that.”

    • Yes, it’s not worth it. You shouldn’t have to go on and on and on with folks. I saw an exchange between you and someone about someone’s wife and I was like ‘whoa! What is that about.’ You did the right thing by stepping away. And yes the last thing I need is some loud person embarrassing me.

  4. BTW, your observation was on point. An introvert is not going to be brought out of their shell by a “loud” personality. Especially if it’s someone they’re not comfortable socializing with.

    I don’t see how your opinion was an attack. I mean it’s true, but then I’m speaking from personal experience. People are different, even introverts. But I’m not seeing a scenario where being forced out of your shell “for your own” good is helpful, regardless of the introvert.

    • It never helped me but yes I was speaking from personal experience too as I am an introvert. But I made a different suggestion, it wasn’t a personal bash. Someone else made the same suggestion I did, they got called out. I kept thinking is all this necessary? But as I said I’ve seen this reaction more and more lately from some folks. I know it’s not easy having folks dissecting your work but you can’t think every shadow is someone out to get you. Not writing on a blog with a big of a readership as that one. Really, I’m not responding to anymore you’re right if ppl want to want to think that I’m not going back and forth. Seems the young lady I was trying to give advice to was happy to have it that’s all that matters.

      • “Seems the young lady I was trying to give advice to was happy to have it that’s all that matters.”

        Ultimately it is. The most important thing is trying to offer helpful advice, more so than who is right or wrong. That will prove itself in time.

  5. This has been a very insightful vlog.

    I think sometimes there’s a tendency to view differing opinions as an attack or derailment. And sometimes it is. But a lot of the times, someone just doesn’t agree with what you’re saying.

    I know I’ve struggled in the past with this irrational fear of being misunderstood or not getting my point across. But I’ve found that, like you said, sometimes people are just not going to agree. And you can’t view every opposing opinion as people being obtuse. And even if they are obtuse, it’s not up to me to change them.

    So you just have to agree to disagree and move on, because life is too short to be caught up in long-winded internet squabbles. I’ve seen people try and continue arguments into new unrelated posts, and it’s like, “Why?” O_o

    One thing I do feel is that commentary and discussion can be useful for inspiring new posts, however the goal of that post should be FURTHER discussion. You are right: It’s a mistake to try and call out everyone that disagrees with you, particularly if you’re not going to let opposing opinions stand.

    Thanks for this vlog. For my part, I’ll try and do better.

    • Toni, you do fine. You’re awesome. I adore your writing and your style is to try to understand not to jump at ppl. I know that’s hard, believe I do that’s why I just do my thing over here. I hate to feeling that anyone that disagrees even slightly is a foe and to be taken down. It wasn’t always like this. The thought is, is it worth it? If I don’t always agree wholeheartedly will I be chastised. I know derailment and I know arguing for arguing’s sake but I disagreed with one suggestion the person made then the majority of my answer was to the poster who asked a question b/c I had experience in that area. You know I don’t speak on things I don’t know about. Then the thing sort of goes left. I was just sort of ‘where did that come from?’ But I’ve seen it before with commenters in other articles, not yours but there’s a couple of folks that seem always ready to go. Clarifying something is one thing but this wasn’t that. I hate to feel this way but I have to pick and choose which authors I read to avoid unnecessary drama.

      • Thanks, Eugenia

        I value your opinion and I know if you’ve got something to say about questionable behavior, you’re usually not far off the mark. 🙂

        Yeah, this is why I “godspeed” folks. If we’re going to agree to disagree as far as I’m concerned, there’s nothing else to say. You just move on. Because all that energy wasted going back and forth can be applied elsewhere. The world won’t end if someone disagrees with you. But it might if you drop dead from a heart attack due to undue stress.

        I never got a chance to share this on the other post (tiny attention span combined with too much else to do), but conflict can be draining for introverts. I’ve felt my energy being taxed by insignificant crap. And it’s just not worth it.

        You are definitely better off picking and choosing for yourself what you prefer to read or participate in. In the end it’s what’s best for you and your sanity.

        • Well, I don’t say anything usually till I start to see a pattern. I have an uncanny sense for seeing patterns. In life, objects and in ppl’s behavior. I saw the pattern and it disturbed me but when it suddenly thrust on me yes I had to say something.

          I appreciate your agree to disagree. I know there have been times I’ve disagreed with you but b/c of the way you present your argument many times you’ve made me change my mind or see things differently. You come at things logically and that I get, coming at me emotionally only backfires. I must say it’s no small feat to change my mind, as a Taurus that is not an easy task.

          Yes it’s draining and seeing that I’m already handling a traumatic experience the last thing I wanted to do was go round and round b/c I thought one idea a person had was bad. So not worth it.

    • Oh and I just wanted to say what is up with the ‘I’m going to set you straight’ part 2 blog post or the ppl indirectly arguing in blog post. Ive seen it a couple of times, it’s odd. Are ppl carrying out personal stuff via the blog? LOL I hope not but I’m sure there will be some blog post to correct me and the other poster who thought getting a ‘loud’ buddy was a bad idea. I’ve seen this person do that before.

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