It’s Not YOUR Issue

Issues that some men have are not your issues ladies, think about your future life and progeny. Stop crying and wasting sympathy on unworthy men. I want to give a link to a free, wonderful and timely e-book by Roslyn Hardy Holcomb that partially inspired this post it’s called Men Aren’t Stupid. And Nine Other Free Lessons That Will Change Your Life it is a free e-book, once again I said FREE! This woman is a wise sage and fantastic writer in general but I have always liked her ‘free lessons’ please download this and read it, you will not be sorry.

Easy Breezy Lemon Peasy

Easy breezy lemon peasy is what I say when things are easy for me to do, interracial dating has always been one of those things. As I’ve said time and time again to attract love, you have to be love. To attract someone you must appear open to the notion of love and being loved. I have been dating interracial for years since the early nineties before any blog or book told me it was okay. I moved to Seattle in 1992 and never looked back, I never had any issue finding a date because I was open to dating and finding love with a non-black man. I had a preference and I wasn’t ashamed or afraid to make it known. When I talk about Seattle being a boon for interracial dating, I think some black women think I’m playing or exaggerating…ummm no! Now I would never recommend you move to a city because you’re looking for a date, if you live in a great city like Seattle and there are plenty of them across the U.S. stay there and work your magic. But you must first know you have magic.

I have a story to tell about my Friday out with Glamdoll, now I must say we have been having a good time and she’s only been here a couple of weeks. Most of our days out and about are laugh out loud fun. Friday I took Glamdoll on the ferry to the Olympic Peninsula, now really on most days it’s never uncommon to see an interracial relationship with black women and non-black men. It’s just never uncommon to see interracial couples of all kind around here. So on the ferry we saw a black mom and her two biracial kids, they were adorably cute and excited about being on the ferry to Bainbridge Island. We had lunch and set out on the road for a tour of the Olympic Peninsula. Glamdoll is funny and a smart, good looking woman so I’m sure she’s beating them off with a stick. Our last stop of the day was Port Townsend, it’s a fabulous town with lots of little shops and restaurants set right on the water. We were having a drink and a little appetizer at one of my favorite restaurants in town a place called Sirens, I’m quite sure most black women wouldn’t set foot in a place like it but I find it cool and quaint with great atmosphere. Now I’m not saying that to insult black women but many of us have such low self esteem and inferiority issues that a place as welcoming and friendly as I find Sirens would be overlooked because well ‘oh naw girl there’s nothing but white people in there’. Yes I know for black women who are open, friendly and minus inferiority issues you don’t get this but I’m sure you know or know of the black woman I just described. I’m sure you may know a black woman who is supposedly into swirling that would have an issue going and enjoying a town like Port Townsend or the restaurant/bar Glamdoll and I were enjoying because of their inferiority issues. I’m always sad when I think about black women with inferiority issues trying to swirl, it hurts my heart but on to folks who are confident in themselves. Glamdoll is open to dating interracial and she has no inferiority issues as a black woman because she knows she’s not inferior, that’s one of the things I like about her. She also understands that if you’re open and friendly men will come a calling no matter what color. As we sit in Sirens the waitress comes and sets down menus and ask us for our drink order, we both order Manny’s Pale Ale, we do enjoy those. We’re talking and laughing and over pops a white gentlemen mingly gray, not bad looking, he’s one of the bartenders, hey maybe he owns the bar, you never can tell around here this is a place you definitely don’t judge books by their cover. He sidles up to Glamdoll’s chair, ask if our drink order has been taken, mmm hmm, we’re holding the menu perusing it, of course our drink order has been taken. He’s eyeing Glamdoll but not crassly but yes he’s interested in her and wants her to know. He’s speaking directly to her and looking in her eyes when he says this, I must say my feeling were a little hurt, he wasn’t paying no attention to me but of course, my diamond wedding ring is obvious and hey I’m not everyone’s type LOL. It was funny and cute, he was flirting with Glamdoll and he was flirting hard. I’d like to take this moment to remind black women interested in swirling that there is no such thing as a shy white guy, if a white man or any other non-black man is interested in a black woman he’ll make those feelings known to her in some way. She told him our drink order had been taken and he smiled big and walked back around the bar. Then surprise, surprise a few moments later the very interested white man comes back to flirt with Glamdoll again, this time with a compliment that went a little something like this. ‘You know one of the waitress asked how old you’ve have to be to born in (sorry not giving the year) and I told her (sorry not giving the age). I told her that couldn’t be true because you (sexy Glamdoll) look 30.’ Hubba Hubba, the honey brings them in doesn’t it. Glamdoll of course in lady like fashion, thanked the kind gentlemen and smiled he then replied ‘you are so lucky’ eyeing her longingly and giving her the ‘and if I had you baby, I’d be lucky too’ grin. We all laughed then I think he noticed I was there and said ‘oh you’re lucky too’ as an afterthought. Bastard, I was amused he noticed me at all. Because he was wholly into Glamdoll. I’m sure it’s been like that here for her at a bunch of places, it’s not hard to attract men of different races if you make yourself open to the prospect of swirling and available to love. Even better and something that shows how classy Glamdoll is, although he flirted she wasn’t interested but she didn’t shoot the guy down harshly, she accepted his compliment, thanked him and we went on with with our afternoon out. Also while at Sirens the cutest little bw/wm older couple, they looked in their 70s, came in they were adorable. Yes, we are everywhere in this in this area.

Dating interracial really is easy, breezy, lemon, peasy and if it’s hard it’s because you’ve made it difficult. If you live in a city that you don’t like the vibe when it comes to interracial dating for black women and you just in general don’t like the city, you need to figure out how to move. There are tons of cities in the U.S. where interracial dating for black woman is common and accessible. This is your life, you need to live it. I’ve asked Glamdoll to do a guest post and to discuss her move from the Midwest to Seattle. I know a lot of BWIR blogs say move overseas and if you can do it go right ahead. But I also understand not every black woman who has an interest in non-black men can or even wants to move overseas. And ladies don’t be fooled the pickings here in the U.S. are not as slim as some would have you believe. You just got to step up your game ladies, take it from one who knows, there is an abundance of non-black men who love black women right here in your own backyard. Get out there and draw them in with your special brand of female magic. Here’s a picture of our fun day on the Olympic Peninsula.




Hold On, Before You Start to Date IR…

Many black women need to conquer the enemy within before they start dating anyone interracially. There are issues of codependency and other issues I see with many black women moving into the interracial dating arena and if those are not resolved they are only going to cause heartache. The article mentioned on vlog is Question of the Week: ‘Two Weeks of Bliss Then Poof! What Went Wrong?’ from Beyond Black & White.

Making New Friends

I’m not an unfriendly person but I’m also not the easiest person to make friends with, so when I make a friend and it’s an easy comfortable friendship that is happening I go with it. I can be really friendly but that is usually when I feel I can trust you and I’m comfortable with you. This weekend I’ve found I am making a new friend with someone I met online on this blog. Glamdoll is a regular reader and commenter on this blog. She has moved up here to the wild and fabulous Pacific Northwest from the Midwest. She did it for the best reason to make a move because she liked this city and wanted to live here. She can tell more of her own story if she’d like but nothing is better than moving to an awesome place and all your awesomeness following suit. That’s exactly what she is doing.

I caught up with her this weekend to meet and hang out. I took her around the city to visit some of the great neighborhoods and introduced her to Manny’s Pale Ale, one of my favorite beers. It’s been great getting to know her, we each share the same philosophy about black women opening up their options and the okey doke of the black community on black women. She’s been fun to get to know and I’m thinking we have a good friendship forming. I’ve never been a believer that you could possibly have a deep or meaningful friendship with people you meet over the Internet. In some ways it seems so impersonal to me but what I’ve found is if you’re genuine, you can draw genuine people for friendship even if you don’t live in the same town. Now that we do live in the same city, we can try to grow a friendship. So here’s to making friends on the Internet and here’s to my new friend, Glamdoll. We’re about to have lots of fun exploring the Pacific Northwest and becoming friends.